This Holiday Season has been full of reflection for me. As I’m driving down the road while working, I’ll have Christmas Carols playing, often singing along with an abundance of fervor. Oftentimes, certain songs come on and I find myself tearing up at the emotions each song brings.
Mary Did You Know comes on, and I find myself wondering at the great Gift given to Mary, to carry God’s Only Son. It is such a great gift, in and of itself, to have your own child. But to know Who your child is, Mary must have been bursting with emotion! I’ve found myself falling into a depth of thought, of the true meaning of Christmas, of Jesus coming into this world to save us from our sins. What a sacrifice!
Admittedly, if there was a spectrum of Christians, I am not a very good Christian. I often doubt whether God and Jesus can actually exist. But I know, in my heart, that They do. And this Christmas, I have been more fully struck with the Gift of God than I have in the past.
Maybe it’s because my stepson hasn’t been raised to believe in God or Jesus, and I’m struggling to bridge the gap, and show him what I believe. And in a way it makes me sad, that to him Christmas is mostly about Santa Clause and receiving gifts. While it is not my role in the slightest to guide him spiritually or religiously, it is important to me that he understands what I believe. I want him to look at the nativities I set up, and understand their story.
Somewhat oddly, another song that has brought me near tears is Amy Grant’s Tennessee Christmas. I know, I grew up in Colorado, so it doesn’t really have sentimental value to me in that aspect. However, I remember listening to it when I was a small child. Though I don’t have vivid memories of childhood Christmases, I can feel the magic of Christmas as a child.
I will be unable to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my family this year. No, it is not because of COVID, it is because I’ll be working. This will be the fourth Christmas in my whole life I have not spent with my family, and that is difficult for me. Christmas is about being with family, spending time with them, and enjoying their presence. Even though this is a reality I accepted when I got into my line of work, it still hits me hard each year I am away.
No matter what the Holiday Season brings, I plan to make the best out of it, and soak in the Miracle and Magic of Christmas. We don’t know what next year will bring, and I don’t intend to regret wasting this year.